Dogs!! I never had one but I love them for one reason. Go home after a long day and these cute ones will jump all over you as if they are seeing you for the first time after many weeks. Wagging tail furiously, licking your face and doing crazy dance suggesting how much it missed you all day. This it does every single day no matter how good or bad it feels. Then you look at you wife or husband, switching tv channels watching their favorite serial or movie, kids fighting in the background, as if you never existed. Makes you wonder why the most intelligent species on this earth has become so busy and self occupied that expression of love or care has just become a give and take business!!
Love is not restricted to Valentine’s Day or on you birthdays or anniversaries, or the day you receive expensive gift. You don’t have to wait that long or choose a date to say how much you love someone. We have replaced human expressions of love with materialistic expressions like diamonds, chocolates or expensive watches. Well, you can’t blame us when our history states that Shahjahan built Taj mahal in memory of dead wife. Well one of his 3 wives. God alone knows which trigonometric equation he used to express his love for 3 wives and 16 children. Anyway, did he have to wait that long to build this wonderful beauty? A wise man had once stated, “You don’t realize what you have until you lose it”. Similarly you don’t realize the value of expression until it’s too late and then you stay with guilt and burden entire life.
“Well I am like this, I have tried but I can’t change”. Is this your conscious telling you? Agreed, that there are positives and negatives in everyone. Also agreed that, the expression of love differs from person to person. Like Archana once stated in her blog, “You can’t be loved the way you want to be loved always. There are different ways to express.” However, there is no point in hiding behind the fact that there is no replacement for words and touch. I am not talking about Shakespeare here. Simple words like I miss you, thinking about you, I love you can do wonders to a relationship. Mean it when you say it and use it at a most unexpected time. Don’t wait for each other to say it first. It is reactive expression. “Pehley aap pehley aap kehkey gaadi chali jayegi”. Are you reactive? Do you find yourself saying, “Let him/her say it first then I will”, “Why should I always?” A reactive expression sounds like a bad business. It’s a business because you are looking at what you get in return and you don’t want to invest until then. It’s a bad business because, always one person finds him/her expressing a lot and other only reacting. This lets a lot of doubts get into the persons mind. “Am I loved the way I love or am I just listening to my echo?”
Hence the need for proactive expression. Whatever you do, do it proactively. Take the first step. Offer the help, don’t wait for the other person to ask. Express your feelings don’t always expect it from others. People change but change should happen from within. There is no point in someone pointing out and then holding that person responsible all your life for bringing in change in you that you didn’t wish to have. Don’t hide behind the screen of “I am like this, this is me.” It doesn’t help the relationship grow.
You don’t need commitment to do what you love but you need it a lot to do what you don’t like, but you have no choice. For example, you don’t need commitment to go to movie but to get up early morning every day and report to work every day, needs a commitment. Similarly in relationships if you are committed to make it work, then one can’t hide behind the fact that they are what they are. You must have listened to some old saying, “Relationship is like two wheels of the cart. If one stops reacting, or if one is too fast, you go around in circles.” And if one wheel starts going in opposite direction, the cart will break……….
Express proactively. Watch, learn and grow!!
Disclaimer: All the words and sentence, if anyone is able to connect with them is purely coincidental and unintentional. This is inspired by the picture posted at the beginning of this post.
