Tuesday, December 1, 2009

2 B or Not 2 B, in the present !!

Well, talk about absent mindedness and my cousin is the first one to pop in my mind. He has done everything in the realm of absentmindedness. Used move(pain relieving balm) as toothpaste, Iodex as jam, kept the books in refrigerator and milk packet in oven, blasted a cooker and almost kitchen by not keeping any water and leaving it on stove for hours. You name it and he will claim the credit. However, I think a small amount of absentmindedness has rubbed on to me as well, considering the fact that blood is thicker than water.(keep guessing what this means, because I really don’t know much.)




So, let me tell you this incident that happened few weeks ago. Every day at 7 :45 pm ( not even one minute less or more), I go to cafeteria to have my dinner. So as usual, I came out of my working area and then went straight towards the elevator, swiped my access card and waited for elevator. After 1 minute, I see that the elevator never stopped at my floor and jumped to the next floor. With so much of anger, I took my card towards the display to swipe it again. There, that’s when I realized what I was doing. I felt like digging a hole and burying my head in it like ostrich. A had a quick look left and right, thanked God that no one watched my antics and then looked at the cctv camera and gave a wide grin, just in case they had watched my show. ( I could imagine the security guys watching the footage ROFL)



Anyway, the same week, I had enacted one more show which left me hours in washroom. I drink a cup of milk( well technically it’s a cup of milk in a 3/4th cup , half filled. You know what I mean) at 12 noon from coffee day in 3rd floor. Now, I work at 5th floor. So as usual I took the staircase to 3rd floor, got the milk cup and headed straight to the elevator. Two guys with a cup of coffee in their hand and Microsoft .net theory in their mouth followed me. We all entered the lift. I leaned back on the wall at the far end of the elevator and the other two guys were busy with their .NET stuff. The elevator stops at 4th floor. Now, this is where everything goes wrong. Enters a beautiful female. She takes the position, right in front of the lift door. I looking at these two guys. Surely, the conversation has now moved over from .NET to WHATNEXT, in no time. So I am busy looking at their reaction( I promise in all my hosh that I was not looking at the girl) and forgot about the milk cup in my hand. I raise my hand to settle my hair which is now partially blocking my view. Dosshhh. The milk cup slips from my hand and my black trouser now looked much like Jeetendra’s white trousers. The girl turns back and gives me that, “what the hell were you doing? Checking me out? Boyz, huh” look and leaves me the way to get out at 5th floor. It took half an hour to clean my trouser and dry it like Mr. Bean.



Ok, these are nothing. I mean, I have done a lot of these in office. Not that I am proud of these, but you know. Things happen :D. Well the main story begins now. Last year, December, I was at my home town. The entire family of 71 odd had gathered in my grandmother’s house to take part in her 1st death anniversary. So my uncle gives me his 2 wheeler ( Hero Honda CD 100 in which the only part that runs properly is wheels), and he tells me to take my cousin to his house and get some coconuts. So I start the bike and with my cousin we head to uncles house. We reach there in no time because its just 2 kilometers away and I took the liberty to test the wheels ( as if it is a brand new racing bike in town). Anyway, so my aunty greets us and my cousin collects coconut and packs it in gunny bag. I started the bike and we zoomed off. This time I wanted to better my lap timing so I rode like devil. However, I spoke about how I missed my hometown and all that while I was riding. So I reach my grandmothers house in 2 mintues and all my relatives are gathered at the entrance of the house. For some reason some are smiling, some are laughing and some little kids are rolling on floor laughing their guts out. As I slow the bike to stop, my uncle asks in his usual booming voice.



Uncle: “Where is Kiran( my cousin) ?



Well, for a fraction of second I thought. “Can’t you see?” and I turned back. To my utter disbelief, Kiran has vanished. My heart is pounding at the rate of the silencer which is cooling down. I mean, how on earth did this happen. I know I rode like a devil. Did I drop him somewhere in the middle of the road? I looked at everyone with a faint smile and an expression which is mixed with shock, disbelief, more questions and fear. Finally, one of my cousin controls her laughter and she kindly gives me the explanation.



Cousin: Aunty called on my mobile sometime ago, just after you left the house there. She narrated the incident. This is what happened.



Recap.



I started the bike. I am looking absolutely straight with the only aim to race the bike and improve the timing. Therefore, as I feel something heavy on the back seat, I ask like a hero, “Ready?”



Kiran has actually kept the coconut gunny bag on the seat and then was planning to sit. When I asked him if he was ready, this idiot thought I was asking about coconut bag and he said yes.



So when I heard the word, “Ready” I just zoomed off. It seems Kiran pulled the bag out as I zoomed off. I didn’t even realize this.



I mean, while riding back, I was wondering why Kiran was not responding to anything I was saying about me missing my hometown? I was speaking so much and he was not speaking a word. Perhaps, the current revelation explains that :D. He didn’t exist. :D. Now, including the kids laugh when they look at my face. I mean for kids, they were so much amused that such a thing can happen for real and not only in movies :D



So, that’s about absent mindedness. But you know, I always say, “badi badi desho mey, choti choti bathey hothi rehthi hey !!”



Look @ Einstein’s reaction for what i said,

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