Well, I haven’t written a single post this year. Perhaps this year didn’t start on a good note. The bad luck and news which had haunted me all through the last few months of 2008 had continued to 2009. On a positive note, probably this is a sign of something good to come my way. So I am bent but not broken. Oh not yet. There were worse day’s.
Anyway, I was just getting all worked up because all that I touched or thought was turning to rusted metal, forget gold, silver and bronze. Well, most of these things were not actually in my control, so that added to my frustration. Also, we melancholy perfectionist idiots build very high standards for ourselves and would get very upset and troubled if we don’t achieve it. Troubled to an extent that you curse your life and make yourself feel like worth less. However that’s a strategy subconsciously adapted by us to get back and fight every time we fail. As I said, our style of fighting is to bend back to such an extent that you would fall flat on your face trying to take a jab at us.
I have a good/bad habit of maintaining a diary. I don’t update it every day. Just when I am bored and feel like I need to note down few important things that I come across. I do read it sometimes and reflect upon the incidents and try to laugh, learn or unlearn. It’s my way of connecting the dots looking backwards.
Few days ago, I opened this diary to read. Something interesting caught my eyes. I know, I had written this, but every time I read it feels like something new to me. Like I am reading it for the first time. Anyway, I don’t want to just paste whatever I had written on Jan 1 2009, but I will narrate the incident which had happened a day before New Year.
I was at my home town that day. It was my grandmother’s first death anniversary; therefore all my relatives had come down from various part of the country. My grandmother had 11 children ( entire cricket team without bench strength) therefore, when I say relatives, you might get a little idea about the numbers. I had made a family tree after returning from home town and the total comes up to 82.
So with all these people on board, you can imagine the state of house during the functions of any kind at my hometown. Though my granny’s house is huge, it seems to be small when all these people come together. Al l the younger cousin’s running around, smaller once screaming at the height of their voice with the vicious aim to bring down the roof, cousin’s of my age playing cricket, football whatever in the court yard, uncles sitting on the porch playing cards and warning us every minute about ball thrashing into one of their cars parked, aunties chatting in the hall, it looks just a little less than a railway stations and a little more than a fish market.
Well, I was tired of playing cricket and came into the hall and joined my aunts, to catch up with all the gossips going around the family and outside family. I don’t know if this sound’s girlish but I love to simply sit in a corner and listen to all the people just coming up such interesting topics. It just fascinates me. Surely it’s interesting as well. On the contrary my uncle’s are all serious talks and I feel lost because sometimes I feel that I got two worlds. The world inside me is very childish and it is like 10 years old and the world outside me is all serious running on 40 years old. So when I am with uncle’s I talk like 40 and when I am with aunts and cousins I talk like 10.
Therefore, I would rather sit next to some ladies, listen to them chatting rather than sit next to uncles and listen to how share market is falling, how it could be got back on track, when to start farming, my son/daughter is in US, he/she got a very good CET ranking and all the strategic gimmicks. Well I would have enjoyed it few years ago but now I know life a little bit better and I can learn all these things myself.
So, as I said, I was enjoying the discussion. My grandmother had 6 daughters. They were discussing about their days when they got married.
One of my aunt said, “On the day of Saku’s ( one of my aunt) wedding, she went straight to her father in law and poured the water on his feet to wash it (it’s a tradition wherein the bride washes her husband’s feet, however my aunt went straight to father in law to wash his feet instead of washing her husband’s feet). Someone pulled her and re directed her towards her husband.”
My eldest uncle had come home, scolded her for doing this.
I asked my aunt why she had done something like that.
She said, “I was ignorant. I hadn’t seen any wedding before. My wedding is the first wedding I had witnessed.”
I was surprised and a little shocked because today’s generation would attend at least a dozen wedding’s before their own. (and yet they wouldn’t know to which figure do they need to insert the ring. But that’s another story).
My aunt continued, “It was tough day’s. We didn’t have money. Having 2 square meals everyday was a big deal. Your grandmother worked very hard. Without any support from your grandfather, she had alone developed from almost zero assets to what you see today. So we had only two good dresses which could be worn on special occasions. So on a given day, only two of the six sister’s could go out for a wedding. Therefore, we took turns wearing the dress and attending any functions. I was unfortunate because I couldn’t attend any wedding before my wedding. Therefore, I didn’t know whose feet to wash on the day of wedding.”
Just then my teenage cousin comes running in complaining about his new jeans which is a little light colored and therefore he wants a new one.
I looked at my cousin and then I looked at my aunt’s. We all knew what was going on each other’s mind at that particular moment. Today’s generation has all the comforts and yet its complaining about things they don’t have.
I read this diary entry, and thought about myself. About what I had and what I don’t have. The truth is, what I have is more than what I don’t have. The year didn’t look that bad anymore. I had found the inspiration not from books, not from great leaders but from a small incident in my family.
In fact, I don’t have to look far away to find role models. My dearest uncle is my role model.(that’s another post). My family doesn’t stop inspiring me every time I am with them. I am sure most of you would relate to whatever I have said. Many of you have a great family. What else do we need?
I am thankful for having more than what I NEED.
I don’t crib much about what I WANT.
“When you put your NEED’s before your WANT’s, you will find peace.”
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