HOW 2 ‘ROB A COP’ !!

I had to write this post. I HAD TO, because, I had to.

Ok, now that sounds crazy and some of you might have closed the page before you read this line.

If you are still reading, then, let me assure you that, ‘you are as crazier than me’ :)

This post is inspired by a post from my fellow blogger. It was something to do with ‘Ways to get caught by ticket checker or traffic cops and pay fine’

However, in this post, I am going to explain, “How to ROB a COP, right under his nose, face, whatever.”

Before, I begin explaining the master plan, have you ever come across ‘Walking, talking DATABASE”?

No? Then read this carefully, “You could be one of them.” :)

Alright, we know a guy. In fact he was my friend’s college mate. Every time we meet him, the only thing that he is interested to know is, “Where do you work? What is your salary? What technology you are working on? Etc etc etc….”

Once this query processing is done, it’s time for statements like, “Hey this guy works there, he earns this much salary, he/she is getting married. He/she got a car. He/she is going with this girl/guy or guy/girl, respectively and irrespectively.”

Once this is done, he comes up with the most irritating part. Comparison. “So you are earning so much, but he is earning much less or I am earning quite more. Etc etc etc…

That’s why, we call them. ‘Walking talking DATABASE’. In short ‘WakTakDB’

Anyway, we don’t completely hate him, because he is such an innocent guy. His circuit is built that way. Can’t help. Moreover, he gives us information pertaining to our ex girl friends, ex boyfriends, friends who have turned foe, foes who are now friends. Aka Khabari.

If you are wondering, “How does this guy ROB a COP?” then keep wondering, because, this guy has nothing to do with my master plan. :)

So why on earth (or on my blogsite) am I writing about this guy? You will know before I finish. I promise.

I am going to narrate a tragic story. If you can figure out the master plan, then congratulations.

During our engineering days, my friends had come down to Bangalore from Manipal, to work on so called, “mini project” (wonder why they keep that name. Its funny, you know what I mean :)). So, I was doing my engineering in Bangalore, therefore I joined my friends, to give them a pleasant company to go around in Bangalore. One of the guys spoke to his relative to give the first floor to them for a month.

Unfortunately the mini project never started due to several reasons. The owner stayed in the ground floor, so he would always enquire about us. Therefore, every day morning, we get ready like we got to go to company on project work, all in formals. Go to Majestic bus station. Wait till 4pm and then come back at office time, looking tired.

At the month end, it was time to wrap up, pack and leave Bangalore to join their college. The mini project was somehow done in the last week of that month. Only one out of the many friends was left out to go in the end. I decided to go to home town along with him.

We went to his bro in laws house and got an old kinetic Honda. Drove it all the way to the room in which these guys stayed. Shifted all the beds back to the place we had taken it from. I had a huge suitcase and my friend was carrying equally heavy suitcase. We removed the front grills of this vehicle to accommodate a suitcase in front his legs. I was holding my suitcase on my lap, balancing it from one side to another.

We had to reach back to his bro in laws place to give back the vehicle and board the bus. We had 1 hr to do so.

After pushing the vehicle and dodging the heavy evening traffic we reached a place, which would be our last traffic signal before our destination. We found ourselves right behind a huge truck waiting from the traffic signal to turn green (which in fact was not visible to us because of this truck). The vehicle began to move and we followed it.

Guess, what?. Very soon, our night mare turned to be a reality. We were stuck at the junction. The truck had jumped the signal. The vehicles were honking and dodging us from all sides. We just stopped there, not knowing which way to go. All the people, crossing us from all sides, were cursing and spitting on us.

We looked like bunch of monkeys, just arrived from forest and unaware of whatever was happening in the concrete jungle. We couldn’t balance the bag anymore. One of the rider shouted,”look, your father is coming”, with a huge grin on his face. I wondered why he was so happy with our helplessness. Before I could look at what was he referring to, a huge smoked, black thing came rushing towards my head. I ducked. It landed right on my friend’s cheek who was riding the deadly kinetic Honda.

Only after, the thing came in front of our vehicle, I realized, it was none other than our famous traffic cop, whose white clothes is no more white. The first thing he did was, removed the key and took it to his base at one corner of the road. I got down and started pulling my bag towards him. My friend was balancing his bag on kinetic Honda and pushing it towards the cop along with me. Again, the traffic opened and again we got showered with curses.

1st question all traffic cops ask is, “DL?”. Please note that he doesn’t even look at your face when he is asking this question.

No answer from my friend. I went numb. I couldn’t hear anything though the noise was deafening.

2nd question, “Papers”?

I was thinking,” yeah paper’s. We were fortunate to get this vehicle till here. Do you expect papers for this?”

This is when my friend came out of the shock that he had, when 3 kilo hand had slammed his face. He said, “sir, sir. This is bro in laws bike sir. I am form manipal sir. Student sir. Please sir. We have bus to catch in 10min sir. Please sir.”

Cop.”No no. Nothing doing. Pay fine.”

My friend, with great pride.”HOW MUCH?” ( Little did my friend know that, I had just one 10rs note and some coins. My friend had none in his.)

Cop looked up. This is the first time he looked directly into his eyes. “300″

Suddenly, out of no were, tears rolled down my friends eye. I didn’t know what to do. I was in fact confused. Was he really crying because of helplessness? Was he acting to gain some sympathy? Was he feeling the pain of that slap only now?

I had no clue. I still don’t have any clue.

The cop, waited for some time and declared, disinterested. “Whatever you have got, put it in there.” He pointed at the mobile pouch he had on his bike.

I collected all he coins and the note in my pocket and slipped it in the pouch.

Hearing the noise made by coins in the pouch, our cop shouted. “Do you think I am beggar? Remove those coins idiot.”

I removed them and placed in my pocket. Little did he know that, I had removed all the money from the pouch and placed it in my pocket.

Finally, we reached our boarding point. Returned the bike. Very little money in pocket. Only enough to buy a bottle of water. We needed money after going to home town to change buses. WE didn’t have any. We didn’t know what to do and suddenly out of nowhere, a BMTC bus comes and stops very near to us. Few people got down and few got in. One of them who got down was familiar. Guess who?

Yeah right. ‘WakTakDB’

We almost fainted. Yeah baby. This is the right time, right place. Can’t be any better.

However, he was very good to us, because he was not at his best. We borrowed Rs100 and thankfully, our bus arrived within 5 min.

So, that’s the story. I don’t know if you can repeat this, but we feel proud even today, for Robbing a Robber under his nose. :)

What crap….? You must be thinking

I know, I know. I warned you..