2 Sleep or Not 2 Sleep ?

Ok, we all know some people tend to fall asleep when they are travelling in bus, train, ship, aero plane, bicycles. Yeah right, bicycles and bikes too. You might argue. How could someone sleep while riding a motor bike. Well, ask my friend. No one dares to take a lift from him, no matter how much he offers. The guy sleeps while riding and has recorded the maximum number of accidents. A doctor had asked him to take a car instead of riding a bike. The RTO officer rejected to give the 4 wheeler license, when our sleeping beauty dozed off while taking the driving test leaving the RTO inspector shouting for help. No, that part is not entirely true. In fact his wife said, “Well doctor, he is fine with bike. Don’t ask him to drive the car and thereby increase the casualty.” We all nodded in unison. I know it’s not normal. He has got a complicated breathing problem for which he is taking the medication and practicing the breathing exercise. Hopefully, he won’t fall asleep while doing those pull your tummy in and out form of yoga.




Anyway, climb any cognizant bus and you will hear this strange rock music with sub woofers at the back seats of the bus. Yeah, our associates are not bad at sleeping and snoring to the glory either. Most of them are girls. Most of the time, you will find them getting up from their ‘alice in dubious land’ dream and looking out of window, rub the eyes, look out again and get shocked when they know that they have missed their stop. Then there is 100 mts dash to the front of the bus shouting, “Anna stop, anna stop”. Anna doesn’t know what on earth has happened. He gives this smart smiling look with a contrasting thought, “you want me to stop at the middle of the road? Which world were you in?”. Anyway, talking about drivers. Have you watched these Sathyabama college buses? Well, not buses, hell transporters you might say. One of the students told me that, these drivers will not stop for a group of boys but if a single girl waves her hand, they will stop immediately. Oh how I wish, women take up bus driving.



Gosh, this is the second time, I am moving away from the topic. Topic? When did I start? Well, I didn’t. In fact I don’t have any agenda in this post. It looks like I am stuck with this self created,1000 thoughts image. Got to shake it off somehow. Anyway, talking about ‘Sleepwell in Shuttle’ (Is this proposition, preposition, opposition? Miss office communicator or Megz might be interested.) Well, boyz are different. I know few trainees who just hit ctrl+alt+del and doze off in front of their monitor and the team lead working next to him/her is only amused at the guys/gals guts. Now that, I have told what I didn’t intent to tell, let me tell you the real reason to start this post.



On one of our limited engineering vacations, I and my cousin decided to go to my aunts place, shimoga in Karnataka. Now, let me overload you with few facts. I had been to shimoga from Bangalore in train only once, few years ago. My cousin had not been to shimoga in train from Bangalore. So that means, I am the senior traveler. The know all guy. The last time I went, it was a direct train and was a 4 hr journey( which I am not sure ). All the stations in and around shimoga look the same and has the same architecture. Harihara is a place at least 2 hour away from shimoga, by road.( which doesn’t really exist).



Now, my cousins father, drops us at the station at 6:30, cold Bangalore morning. He gets us tickets and we happily boarded the train. We are a little saddened by the fact that, the birds were not interested in our compartments. We found few flying across towards the neighboring one. Anyway, my cousin had a book to read and I had my 1000 thoughts to think about looking outside the window. After some 3 hours the train makes a comparatively longer stop at some station.



My cousin, “how long to shimoga?”



Me : Well, it’s been only 3 hours. Probably 1 more hour.



Cousin : “Are you sure?”



Me : “well I have travelled once. Can I be wrong?”



Cousin : rolling eyes. Goes back to book.



After 1 hour, still no shimoga.



Cousin: “Perhaps we should ask someone.”



Me : “Perhaps you should ask someone.”



Cousin : Goes back to book



After 2 hrs.



Me: “I think you are right. We should ask someone.”



Cousin : “right. You should ask someone”



Me: Ok ok. I am gonna ask.



I walk to this guy gorging on groundnuts and.



Me: “How long to Shimoga?”



The nut guy : “Shimoga?”



Me: Dumbo. “Yeah!!”



The nut guy: “Where are you coming from?”



Me: “Bangalore”



For some strange reason the nut guy starts smiling, then laughing, then rolling out of laughter and before he could do anything more, my cousin comes in.



Cousin: “what the hell is happening?”



Me: “well, the guy, was eating nuts and now it looks like he has become one nut case now !!”



The nut case: “Hero. You are in the wrong train. This is going to Harihara. Will reach in another 10 min.”



Cousin: “What?”



Me: “what?”



Me (Looking at cousin) : “This guy has gone nuts. Well, your father couldn’t be wrong. Could he?”



Cousin: “Well no. it’s the right ticket and train.”



After 10 mintues.



Me: “Man, this is Harihara. But this station looks familiar man. I have seen this last time. I think we have to get down at harihara and then take a auto to shimoga. I think that’s what I did last time.”



Cousin: “Ok then, let’s get out of station”



We start walking and walk straight into the ticket checker at the gate.



TC: “ticket please”



Cousin: “here” ( proudly gives the ticket)



TC : ( looks at me and then at the ticket 4 times. I was about to say, “sir, its ticket not a id card” ) : “yavanige hutidiya ley, sulle maganey” ( well I don’t want to translate this. The people in this part of Karnataka address both their friends and enemies with the same gaalies, which if you hear, will either commit suicide or blow the head off. My cousin who doesn’t understand too much of kannada looks at me for explanation. I was about to tell him that, the show has just begun. That was the introduction)



Me : “Sir?”



TC: “You buffalos. This is ticket to shimoga and you have come to Harihara”



Me : “Sir. I am confused. How did this miracle happen?”



TC : “Ley maganey. When this train reaches the junction station in between Bangalore and Shimoga, half of the compartments are removed and attached to the train going to Harihara. The other half continues to Shimoga. You have sat on the other half and you didn’t even change the compartments in that station.



ME : “What?” (Hmm that explains why the train stopped for so long after 3 hours. This happens only in India)



TC: “Now that you are here. Technically, you have travelled from Bangalore to harihara half way, without ticket. So, pay the fine”



So, we pay the fine. Walk outside and ask this auto guy.



Me: “Sir, Shimoga?”



Auto guy : “Shimoga?” Starts smiling, laughing and before he could roll. “It takes 2 hours in bus. You think I am fool. Go take a bus” Another shower of praises followed.



We take a bus which is probably not upgraded since independence and we travel on the road which was never there. In fact it was like some stretch of land on mars with holes as big as those craters created by asteroids.



Anyway, finally, as the sun set, we reached Shimoga and aunts house only to be made fun of. They still make fun of us, every time we meet.



So, you see. You don’t have to sleep to miss the stop. You could have the right ticket, right train, eyes wide open and yet miss few things. Probably that’s what I like about India. It never stops surprising you !!



My cousin? Well, he never travelled with me again.



Me? Well, I had once booked a train ticket to my home town from Chennai and was boasting about it till the last day because nobody was getting a ticket. On the last day when I was showing the ticket to my friend boasting about it, he started to smile, then laugh, then rolling on the floor. I looked at the ticket closely only to find out that, I have booked a ticket in the train, which goes all around the south India before reaching home town after 24hours. No wonder, so many tickets were available on that train.

To BRIBE an innocents life!!

26/11 will be etched in our memory and probably in minds of many generations to come. There is something different about this when compared to all the previous attacks. This one, emphasized the fact that no one national or country is free of terrorist acts. This also, made us stand up and fight instead of boasting about our resilience.




Once resilient means show of inner strength. Twice resilient means cowardice.



We have been hurt more than once. This time, we will not forget, will not forgive, we are still waiting & watching!!



Everything said and done. Some of our own people are equally responsible for what has happened.



We as citizen on India have a greater responsibility to stop terror. One must not forget that when you accept bribe for unlawful acts, you are no less than the terrorists who kill innocents. Because, every bribe taken, aids the bigger plan of terrorists. Headly, couldn’t just come to India and do so much, just by him. There are Indians who have helped him. Some unknowingly and others were bribed.



A RTO inspector who takes bribe to provide DL for a person, who doesn’t pass the test, is in fact trading some innocent’s life on the road.



A traffic cop, who accepts the bribe to allow the drunken driver to carry on riding, is also trading an innocent’s life on road who could be absolute teetotaler.



A registrar, who accepts the bribe to register an illegal land, is allowing the land mafia to peek its ugly head.



A flat owner who accepts black money from the buyer, who doesn’t have required papers, could be allowing a terrorist or an illegal business to flourish at his place.



One was arrested at Indira Gandhi airport suspected to be a spy and several defense and sensitive documents were recovered. The nuclear installations were then put on high alert. Someone from inside was surely bribed to get the documents.



The two important arrests made recently whose footsteps retraced lead to various important installations in India. They were provided the multiple entry visas by Indian consulate in Chicago, apparently overlooking the rules stipulated by Home ministry. Could this be a mistake or sure case of bribery?



Not all break laws. A Mumbai based property dealer rejected Headly’s plea to get a house for him, for not furnishing the required documents. Arguably Headly had asked the broker to shut up and mind only the money he was providing to make this deal. However, the broker simply put his foot down. Talk about business ethics, integrity and this is an apt example.



After 26/11 there has been increased effort by Indian and the intelligence agencies of the nationalities which were affected, to share the information. Thanks to this, we probably have averted a major 26/11 this time. However, it has come to light that a lot of Indians have helped these two terrorists to move around and plan within India. Some might have unknowingly helped but many others were bribed to do one or the other unlawful favor.



Then why do people accept bribe? Perhaps, like global warming, the answer to this too lies in ones selfishness. Selfish because, we have been knowingly continuing with unwise, illegal practices because of a belief that we may never personally have to pay the consequences for the results, but that eventually someone else will.



Perhaps, it’s time to realize that all laws are not meant to be broken. Find out the reason why laws are created. Let’s follow the law, because each law broken could cost some innocents life or a broken home!!



For people who are selfish and don’t think twice before accepting bribe, God forbid, if there is another 26/11, it could cost your loved one’s life. The life, which you can’t bring back, no matter how much you bribe, because God it seems can’t be bribed. Be the GOD!!



“May the soul of innocents and heroes who lost their life, rest in peace while we stand tall and face the devils. Also, may the broken hearts and homes of those who are left alone, find peace in their fight and struggle to meet the future!!”

SHE CHOSE HER over HIM !!

When her little younger daughter turned 20 days old, her husband told her that she could either abandon the child or leave him. The reason being he wanted a boy.




She chose her two little kids over married life!!



She took up the odd job and tuitions to raise her daughters.



Sometimes her kids had fever, but she would give them ginger tea or make them drink water so that she could save doctors fees of Rs 40 to 50 which she would use to buy stationary for school instead.



She would undo the hem and iron it when her daughter’s school skirts became short.



She would work tirelessly and her little daughters understood that.



Her little daughter, now grown up would earn her pocket money by doing some modeling assignment which eventually led her to the Miss India Pageant.



The little daughter, now 23, who was rejected by her father and loved immensely by her mother and sister, is none other than Pooja Chopra, Pantaloons Femina Miss India World 2009.



The world salutes her mother. The woman, with determination as strong as steel and a heart of gold, Neeru Chopra !! The true MOTHER INDIA !!



At the same time, I can’t come to terms with the cruelty of few coward Martians who neither know love nor can be loved. But destiny is a strange thing. Like shahrukh in OSO, “Aur aaj, is baat ka bhi yakeen ho gaya, ki humari filmon ki tarah humari zindagi mein bhi end mein sab theek ho jaata hai.Happys Endings. Aur agar, aur agar theek na ho to woh the end nahin hai” ( I got to know this today. Like in movies, in the end, our life too ends in a good way. Happy ending. If it is not good, then it is not the end. )

They Called Me CRAZY !! GO CRAZYyy>>>

I patrol the New York’s party and bar scene,

Saving drunken women from men who are opportunistic and mean.

They called me crazy.

I am Terrifica.

I travelled backwards from year 2039

To save earth’s future and make it fine.

I show up at grade schools, hemp festivals with perfect synergy,Create video documentary on environmentalism and renewable energy

They called me crazy.

I am Captain Ozone.

I am the one man vigilant force roaming in the dark at Kent and London,

destroying the wheel clamp from cars of unhappy drivers with angles grinder and no gun.

They called me crazy.

I am Angle-Grinder Man.

I wear red tights and a red and yellow wrestler’s mask,

Fighting crime and corruption is my task.

I use my image to organize labor rallies and protests, and file petitions

They called me crazy.

I am Superbarrio, and Mexico is my station.

I shovel snow from the steps and walkways of the elderly in the winter,

Straighten out swings and keeps playgrounds tidy in the summer.

I prowl the streets at night when there are none,Keeping an eye out for vandals and hooligans.

They called me crazy.

I am the hero of Iqaluit, I am Polar Man

We give Christmas gift to the homeless.

They called us crazy

We are Team Justice.

I aid the homeless and others in need

They called me crazy.

I am Geist of Minnesota

My mission is to save motorists from receiving

Irritating and expensive parking tickets

They called me crazy

I am the Parking Angel

I lost my big multinational company job in this economic downturn

I now raise fund for children and the homeless who have none.

They call me crazy

I am Mr. Ravenblade

Yes they are crazy, because a crazy can change the world and the rest only talk.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

“First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win.” - Mahatma Gandhi

This world needs more and more crazy people.GO CRAZY >>>

Happy Birthday SRK !!

“If I can, You too can “

“There’s always been a patriarch for every field. He leads, people follow. He takes new paths — praised if he’s successful, derided if he fails. But then somebody has to do the job. Somebody has to invent for the others to reinvent. Somebody has to stand up for our fifty six year old philosophy — for the people, by the people, to the people. Shah Rukh Khan did just that. He invades areas where no actor has ever been.



A clear brand philosophy and a brilliant understanding of mass psyche has been the strength of the SRK product. He is probably the best brand ever churned out by Indian industry. Outrageous and outspoken in his interviews, he played to the masses and boy did he play it right. Then there is the proverbial pinch of salt. With which SRK takes himself. While his work reflects his passion, there has always been that wry black humour that grounds his reality. He has consistently stripped the idealistic glamour from his profession by branding himself a performer.



Shahrukh Khan had stepped into the film world as an outsider, a young man bereaved from the loss of his parents, seeking solace, work and passion in an alien world. Today, this outsider is the most familiar member in every fan’s household. A journey that led from a suburban housing colony in New Delhi into the homes, hearts and minds of innumerable fans all over the world, a journey that transcended boundaries of nations, and the artificial barriers of culture.” — Mushtaq Shiekh, Author (Shahrukh Khan : Still reading khan)



Thank you SRK for giving millions hearts the hope and inspiration to succeed against all odds.

“One Night” short story contest - English - ‘8:00pm-Nothing2Everything@8:00am’

I did pocket the black ball and it’s the fourth game I won. I looked at my watch. It showed 8:00 pm. I wondered when I had changed the 24hr mode to 12hr mode. The date displayed was 25-10-2020. Somebody has messed up with my watch, I thought. I decided to probe into this matter once I reached my room. It must be my roommates. It’s been 4 hours since me and my friend Ravi got into the Pool Shack. No matter how much Ravi tried, he never won a game of 9 ball pool. Few mugs of beer had reduced my response time by few minutes. I looked at Ravi and waved him good bye.


I made it to the ground floor of Pool Shack. Missed few step in between; hit a guy coming up, carrying a red heavy bag, who looked more sloshed than me. I wondered why they didn’t have an elevator. I felt an elevator is a must when they serve alcohol at anywhere above and below the ground floor. It is generally cold in Bangalore in mid October, but strangely I was sweating already. I thought, may be the beer was messing up my body temperature control mechanism as well.


I crossed the busy airport road and reached the hospital end of the road. It was pretty unusual, because I have been here so many times but never really observed the other half of the road and the hospital. Perhaps I would be too eager to go to Pool Shack and get sloshed. Therefore, never really paid attention to anything else.

I think I heard a siren crying its heart out from few kilometers away. At least I thought it was few kilometers away or perhaps its somewhere in the vicinity and the beer in me is messing up my natural Doppler theory. I looked right and then turned back to check if it was an ambulance coming towards the hospital. The crying became more and more irritating and loud. Now I could hear the sound of chopper as well. I wondered if this was a hi-tech hospital and it has got choppers to get the patients. But the siren sound nullified that theory. I looked in all directions. People on street stood still and they were as amused and confused as my 1 year old nephew in wet nappy.

The sound grew louder and louder. Few kids on the other side of streets were pointing at the sky behind me. I turned around and I couldn’t believe my eyes. 5 choppers flying in a perfect circle formation. In the center of this formation, I could see a white chopper. No, it couldn’t have been chopper. It was triangular in shape. Like those stealth planes we see in television. Now I knew what was crying so loud. It was almost deafening now. People rushed to the roads. Traffic came to stand still. No one moved an inch. Even the street dogs hogging on the free food inside the corporation dust bin, stood still in amusement with straight ears.

The triangular thing hovered over the shack point. The choppers which looked like they are guarding this thing matched its movement. The triangular thing, threw a wide ray of red light. It looked like it was scanning the entire area. It aligned itself to the Pool Shack. The beer effect in me had vanished looking at this spectacle. It seemed to be more evident now that the Pool Shack is going to be attacked. Everyone ran for cover. I tried calling my friend, but the network is jammed. I couldn’t just believe what was happening. I crossed the road and searched for my friend. I couldn’t see him. People were running all around. The triangular thing sent out 3 straight blue lights down towards the Pool Shack, forming a cylindrical shape of probably 2 feet diameter. The light pierced through everything. I put my food forward towards the Pool Shack and suddenly, there was a deafening screeching sound. There was some kind of activity within this invisible cylinder. The entire space within the cylinder exploded into flames, but neither the flames and nor the particles came out of the cylinder.

The entire formation of flying choppers vanished out of sky in no time. Before people could rush to the spot, there were NSG commandos who had cordoned the area. I never realized this.

I ran to my room and switched on the TV. My mobile was now working. I called Ravi. He had followed me outside the Pool Shack to get a cigarette. He shared the same story. I flipped the channels and stood still when the reporter in a news channel announced, “Defense minister of India, will address the media in a short while.” The defense minister looked jubilant, contrary to the recent occurring.



He announced, “Today, at 20:08, India successfully tested its, Unmanned Arial bomb scanner and laser guided diffuser called Garuda. Garuda is placed at strategic locations. It takes less than minute for Garuda to detect, track and destroy the bomb. It also leads the choppers carrying the commandos who then cordon the site and aid the investigation. Garuda detected the bomb at the Pool Shack, Airport Road Bangalore at 20:02. It not only guided the 5 NSG choppers to the blast site, but also cordoned the bomb with its bomb isolation technique. The bomb which was attached with a timer device went off before it could be defused by Garuda, but the high tech laser bomb isolator was used by Garuda to form a controlled explosion. Many defense scientists have been working day and night on Garuda project which was started on 2009, took 11 years and it has been completed at the cost of 200 billion rupees. This is a great success for this developed country which is surrounded by enemies on all sides. Further details on this live test will be provided in few hours. Thank you.”

I somehow knew that bomber was the guy I saw carrying red bag while coming down the Pool Shack. I was too tired to be sure. I was too tired to think anymore.

I was shocked, amused and tired of all the incidents. It was too much for this tired sloshed mind. I went to bed. I couldn’t sleep peacefully. All the events replayed in my mind. I could hear the sound of choppers. It was faint and then loud. It couldn’t be a dream. I woke up. I looked at my watch. It was 6:30. I couldn’t take another similar incident anymore. My heart was pounding faster than my head because of hang over. I ran to the balcony. 4 choppers so close to my third floor apartment flew across the blue sky. I looked at the beach and the blue sea and then at the horizon. I just couldn’t believe this. I ran to the door, grabbed the news paper. On the front page, I read, “39 killed in Baghdad blast”. I glanced at the date on the top. 26 October 2009, Chennai.

It took me time to recap the entire previous night episode. I had been to Pool Shack to play pool. It was on the OMR road opposite to the Life Line hospital. Just when I was crossing the road an ambulance with loud siren had just turned into the hospital gate. Someone burst the rocket which was left over during diwali. The rocket sparked brilliant colors in the sky. Few kids jumped in joy. I took my mobile out to call Ravi, so that I could make out the address. There was no network. That was followed with a big blast of crackers which made a deafening noise and smoke. I wondered why on earth where they doing this in the vicinity of hospital. I was sweating profusely though it was October end and I thought that if was in Bangalore at this time, it would have been cold.

I was tired, sloshed when I reached home. I changed my watch to 24hr mode. I flipped the tv channels and halted at a news channel which showed the breaking news, “Blast in Baghdad”. I switched off the tv and went to sleep.

As I sat their realizing and re tracing everything, I wondered how amazing is human mind. It had weaved a dream for me with all the things which were totally unrelated. I could only admire this marvelous mind which had created EVERYTHING from really NOTHING that happened at 8:00pm. I looked at my watch. It was 8:00 am. I told myself, “huh,8:00pm-NOthing2Everything@8:00am”

Time to stop dreaming and work!!

Yeah you heard me. Stop dreaming, go back to work!!

“Why Drink and Drive, when you can, Drink and Dream”

PUNCH DIAL ogues !! Copy righted: Raj dialogue vendors.

Disclaimers: I dont like this. Escpecially when it is mentioned at the end of all blabberings.

Anyway, for the sake of formality, let me warn you that these might sound like extreme case of PJ attack or you may look like one idiot doing ROFL on the carpet below your seat.

‘If the World is not in my hands, look under my feet”

“If she goes to shopping, beware you may become the shopping cart”

“Entire outer space is my playground, planets are marbles and stars are flood lights”

“Priest said God is everywhere son. My nephew asked, even in bathroom?

“Moral science teacher said, you should learn to forgive. I said, ma’am can I stand down from the bench now?”

“She said I am the master of universe. Btw, Universe, is my dog’s name”

“I said, if you are the paper then I am the pen. She said, oops idiot you just spilled the ink”

“Wife told a tired husband, I want a son. Husband told; keep your eyes to the east. You will see it first thing in the morning.”

“My mom says, I m handsome. My wife says, there is only hands, rest is troublesome”

“Chennai chicks are too hot to handle, they are in tune with climate”

“No wonder Kerala is God’s own country, he has kept all the good ladies for himself”

“Roads to heaven starts at my house, roads to hell begins at OMR”

“When a girl tells you, I love you, please check your wallet”

“If you hear bells ringing when you see a girl, it’s time to visit a good ENT specialist”

“Falling IN and Falling OFF love are not the same, just like Constipation and Diarrhea.”

“If you are pencil, then challenges are sharpeners. You always come out bold and sharp”

“Men like hot women. Not in Chennai, man, it’s too hot here”

All girls are masala queens cos guys need taste in life

All roads dont lead to success, but not everyone has good GPS

If one day I look sad and I am standing alone, don’t come near me. I am busy ….(let your imagination flow)

“Before marraige we used to love roller coaster rides. Now, she is the roller and i am her coaster.”

A jakas movie:

This is playing at PKN5A180. With the only audience who is the writter, director, producer of this movie.

“CAD is the super hero of the city of keys. He falls in love with CL. But before he could propose, WL the villain activates himself. The entire BS, Home, Shift and all the friends are helpless. They all are inactive because of WL. CAD and CL have to Escape and save the city. CAD activates himself and before WL’s friend ENTER, activates himself, CAD’s friend ESCAPE sacrifices his life. Thereby CAD and CL get freed. A statue is made to honor sacrifice of the CAD’s good friend. It is at the top right corner of the city. On it is written, Esc (Extraordinary and Special Character).

A new villain has entered the city. It’s the exact copy of WL. It’s called CCP. i.e in Part 2.

Starring:

CAD: Ctrl Alt Del

CL: Caps Lock

WL: Windows+L

BS: Backspace (guest appearance)

CCP: Cut Copy Paste

Well, now that I have finished and if you feel like relieving your stress then, you may follow the following instruction.

Take the printout of the below picture

Paste it on your manager’s cabin door

Follow the instruction written on the page in the picture.

No No. That’s ok. You don’t have to thank me for this. You are always welcome. Pleasure is all mine, you see.

------RAJ